Choosing Your Wedding Party

You'll be seeing your wedding party in your wedding photos for the rest of your lives, so choose the people you love and you can count on to make your day incredibly special.

Your wedding party can be any size you like.  We've attended weddings with 300 guests and the wedding party was made up of four people; we've also attended weddings where it seemed there were more people in the wedding party than in the audience.  The size of your wedding party is completely up to you.

In general, you'll want the same number of groomsmen as bridesmaids; otherwise the traditional post-wedding processional will be a little awkward.  If you do have uneven numbers, try to ensure that everyone has someone to walk down the aisle and enter the reception with. 

The rule of thumb is one groomsman for every forty to fifty guests, but that's just a guideline.   If you want every guest to be seated by a groomsman, make sure you have plenty; if guests will seat themselves, the number of groomsmen (as far as seating is concerned) is irrelevant.

Once you decide who's on your list, ask them to be a member of your wedding party as far in advance as you can, and try to give them an idea of the amount of time you'll need them and the approximate cost of their clothing, etc.  Bridesmaid who need to travel to another city, stay for three days, pay for clothing, lodging, etc. may not be able to afford the expense.  Give each person the option of declining graciously in the beginning instead of later when money becomes an issue.  If you can, give members of your wedding party at least six month's notice - if you have to give less notice, don't be disapppointed or hurt if someone is unable to attend.

One last note:  Take into account the feelings of your friends and family.  It's hard to choose a wedding party without offending or hurting the feelings of someone.  It's your wedding, and you can do what you want, but they're also your friends and family.  Take into account their feelings.   Your wedding is one day - one incredibly important day, of course - but your friends and family are with you for a lifetime.  If you have to compromise a little on your wedding party to spare the feelings of a family member, isn't it worth it?