Create Your Guest List

You have two basic choices when you develop your guest list:  Create your list first, then pick an appropriate venue, or choose the venue and let it (and your budget) determine the size of your guest list.   

Either approach is fine, but many couples choose to pick their venue first, since that's a budget-driven decision, and then invite as many guests as they can then afford.

Based on our experience, about 80% of your guests will come to your wedding if you invite more than 150 people.  Invite 50 people and a higher percentage are likely to attend, since that means you've probably invited a greater percentage of people who really want to come.  (If you invite 200 or more, in all likelihood some portion are friends of your family, and not necessarily close to you - so they won't all come.)

If you have no trouble limiting your guest list, then you don't need to read this article.  If you have too many people on your list, here are some ways to reduce the total number you invite.  Just remember that if you use "rules" or "guidelines" to help you limit the attendees, make sure you apply the rules consistently, or you'll hurt someone's feelings.  (If you have a "no girlfriends" rule - and good luck enforcing that one - but you allow your good friend to bring his girlfriend... well, you get the picture.)

No Work Buddies

It's fairly easy to cut co-workers from your list, since many are probably esteemed colleagues but not necessarily good, close friends.  This is a tricky rule to apply, though, because you're bound to have one or two close friends where you work, and you'll automatically make someone feel excluded.  Removing your work buddies from your list is a relatively painless move, though, and should probably be one of the first groups you cut.

No Distant Relatives

"Distant relative" is clearly open to interpretation, but if you rarely see your cousins, for example, you probably don't need to invite them.  Just make sure you don't invite any cousins, or someone's feelings will be hurt.  (Hurting someone's feelings is a common theme when you have to make significant cuts to your guest list.)

No Dates

This one is also a little tricky to enforce.  If your close friend has a truly significant other, that person should probably be invited.  If your good friend is not in a relationship, there's no reason for him to bring a date if you are limited to how many guests you can handle.  At the same time, bringing a date helps some people feel comfortable, especially if they don't know many of the other guests.  If that's the case, create a "singles" table at the reception so your unattached and unescorted guests can hang out together.

No Children

This is, quite frankly, a tough one.  Some people don't have reliable babysitters, some people don't want to use babysitters, and some will feel that they really want their kids, no matter how small, to be at your wedding.  Some parents won't come to your wedding if they can't bring their kids, even if it's an evening wedding and drinking and dancing is on tap for the reception.  If you don't want to invite children, that's perfectly acceptable, but understand that a few people may not attend as a result.  Also, don't rely on the fact that you don't put any children's names on the invitations - some parents won't pay attention.  Find other ways to let people know that children aren't invited - let your parents spread the word, for example.

If you plan a kid-free, or a date-free, or a no coworker wedding, don't be upset if someone doesn't follow the "rules."  Don't let an uninvited guest ruin your day.  At that point it doesn't matter - you're getting married, your loved ones are there to witness your marriage and be a part of it, everyone is extremely happy for you... why worry about a date or two who slip through the "no date" net?